The White Dance Shoes ¨C My Inner Words

Tai Lihua

(in the year of 2006)

I was born in Yichang city in Hubei province in 1976. When I was a small child, I had a sweet voice when I called my mother and I sang beautifully.

Unfortunately, I lost my hearing at the age of 2, due to the injection of streptomycin when I had a fever. Ever since I have lived in a silent world. Yet, I was not aware of my condition.

It was not until I was 5 years old, when the children in my kindgarden took turns to play blindfold games to distinguish different sounds, I realised I was different from the others. I was so sad that I cried.

At the age of 7, I was sent to a deaf-mute school. In a rhythm class, the teacher stamped his foot like elephants pounding the floor in order to send vibrations to us. The rhythmic vibration went through my body from my feet. Suddenly, I was elated, feeling so happy, which I had never experienced before. I lay prone on the floor and used my body to absorb the wonderful sound.

From that time, I became fascinated by dance ¨C an art form that is inseparable from music. I found a music made visible and colourful and a beautiful means to express my inner world.

How I wished I had a pair of white dance shoes. But, my mother had to quit her job in order to take me around to seek medical advice. My family of four only depended on my father¡¯s monthly salary of 50 Yuan. Poor as he was, my father was observant and discovered my wish. On my birthday he bought me a pair of dance shoes which I put on. I danced joyfully on the bed, fearing they might be soiled on the floor.

No matter how busy I was with schoolwork, I always tried to make time to practise dancing. I practised so hard that I got bruised. So as not to upset my mother, I always wore trousers, even in the summer, to cover this up. When she found out, she hugged me and cried.

After graduation from secondary school, I was admitted to Hubei Fine Arts Institute to study interior design. Unable to hear, I just sat in the first row and watched teacher¡¯s mouth while speaking and writing. After class, I borrowed classmates¡¯ notes to copy and study. Having studied at university for 4 years, I graduated with outstanding academic results and BA degree. I won a prize in designing the package of ¡°rare wine¡± in Hubei province.

I always kept up with my dancing. I became a dancer in the China Disabled People¡¯s Performing Art Troupe when I turned 15 years old. While at school I also managed to tour around performing with the troupe.

When I was on tour performing in Malaysia in 1993, a handsome overseas Chinese from a wealthy family fell in love with me and proposed to me. Many people long for a comfortable life abroad, but I preferred to stay in my homeland and loved dancing.Only here in my own country, I could fulfil the meaning of my life. In 2002, I married another man Li Chun, a computer engineer and produced a happy family. He also supports me in my dance career.

As a disabled person, my dance career developed through much effort. But I have fulfilled my dreams and feel grateful for my rich life. My heart has been so touched each day:

My fondest memories are of the following events.

A grand event ¡°world arts festivals¡± was held in Teatrale alla Scala in Italy in August 1992. All the performers were the top dancers and musicians in the world. We were honoured as ¡°the angels of beauty and humanity¡±.

In September 2000, we performed in the Carnegie Hall in New York. In the exhibition rooms, corridors and foyers, there were portraits of world-famous artists who had performed there and posters and news bulletins about the performances. I was looking at them to find any Chinese one. Suddenly, I was astonished to see a big poster of my performance ¡°The Soul of the Peacock¡± - only Chinese one.

When we performed in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia in December 2001, the streets were full of posters of our performance. After one performance, somebody came backstage to see me. It turned out to be the man who had proposed to me previously 8 years ago. He was still unmarried. When he saw the poster, he hurried there hoping that I would marry him. I told him frankly that I was in love with somebody else and would get married soon. Although disappointed, he politely wished us well, which touched me.

In May 2002, the China Disabled People¡¯s Performing Art Troupe began to perform in public theatres as a commercial venture. We always had a full house. We, the disabled performers, not only support ourselves, but also entertain the audience.

In Japan in October 2002, the organisers of the international disabled people¡¯s convention called us ¡°the beacon of special arts¡± and ¡°ambassadors representing 600 million disabled people in the world¡±.

In Poland in March 2003, after dancing ¡°The Soul of Peacock¡± I went to backstage to change my costume, the program presenter came to tell me: ¡°The whole audience including the Polish President and his wife are calling encore for you to appear again.¡± When she saw that I had already changed costume and it would be inconvenient to come on the stage again, she went to the stage and announced: ¡°Sorry, as the dancer is deaf and could not hear the applause, she has already changed her costume for the next show and can¡¯t come back again.¡± Later, she told me that the audience was moved to tears, hearing that I could not hear their warm applause.

When the SARS epidemic occurred in June 2003, we were the only arts troupe in the world to visit Hong Kong. Considering the widespread fear of SARS, we were not sure if people would turn up to see our performance. When on the day of the show, people came to the Cultural Centre from all over, they took off their mouth masks, smiling and exchanging greetings. We presented our HK compatriots with a crane made of a thousand pieces of paper; a handicraft made by ourselves and sent best wishes to them on behalf of Mainland China. We also performed the dance ¡°Avakijutesvara Bodhisattva¡±, for their protection. The disabled people on the stage and the HK audience who had struggled with SARS for two months identified with one another¡¯s hardships. The audience was reluctant to leave at the end of show. No disaster could daunt our spirits.

We once went to perform for Lanqiao Prison in Shanghai in October 2003. During our talk with the prisoners, I said: ¡°When we heard that we would be performing for prisoners, I was afraid. But sitting with you today, I feel that we share a lot. The difference between us is that we are handicapped physically and you spiritually.¡± The prisoners were all moved by this.

In May 2004, we went to Taiwan again. Taiwanese compatriots loved our performance. We share great affection.

On September 28th, 2004, the Olympic Centre in Athens was seething with excitement when we put on 8-minute show. The director of the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games for the Handicapped said emotionally in tears to us: ¡°Chinese disabled artists played music in memory of those student spectators who died in an accident. They also performed the dance ¡°Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva¡± to bless the human race. It is most beautiful and incredible performance¡±. The Chairman of the International Para-Olympic Committee spoke: ¡°The performance given by the Chinese disable people has transformed the closing ceremony of the Para-Olympic in Athens.

At the evening party held by the CCTV at the 2005 Spring Festival, we were awarded a special prize for the dance ¡°Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva¡± and first prize for song and dance. This was the first time in the 23 years history since the inauguration of Spring Festival evening party. I was surprised how many advertisement and publicity companies offered to promote us. When I turned them down, saying that we needed a break, they did understand.

After a reception to celebrate the Chinese Traditional Lantern Festival, Chairman Hu Jintao received me to express his support and encouragement.

In December 2005, the third part of the dance series ¡°My Dream¡± was performed on six occasions in the Great Hall of the People. On this occasion, Chairman Hu and other 11 leaders from the Central Committee of the Chinese Government came to see the performance and received us. They also made a complimentary speech.

It is unforgettable that awards and honours including ¡°National Labour Model¡±, ¡°China Youth May 4 Medal¡±, ¡°Chinese Heroine¡±, ¡°National Self-Independence Model with Disabilities¡± and¡°Personality who Touches China¡± were conferred on a common girl with disabilities.

For 19 years we toured the world to perform. Wherever we went, we were warmly received and highly praised. But, I understand that, without the support of society and help of other artists, I would not have been able to enjoy these days. Our success in our special art is an expression of the Chinese culture and human spirit.




I am deaf and suffer from lack of hearing, but I am happy. There are hundreds and thousands of outstanding artists in our country. The disabled artists are privileged to perform in famous theatres in more than 40 countries. It is our country that made this possible for us and many kind people have helped us realise our dream.

My white dance shoes share my best moments in life.
My white dance shoes bring me the joy of life.

We share our experience with the world:
As unyeiding as nature may be, so must we ceaselessly strive along.
As tolerant as mother earth may be,
so must we act within our world with virtue.